Texts from last night

As a college student I've had my fair share of stupid, late night texts. My friends and I always have fun trying to decipher the meaning behind the late night texts that get sent to one another each weekend. I recently stumbled upon this website: http://http//www.textsfromlastnight.com/
It is hilarious! Now I've read some reports that these are fake but regardless, they are so funny! You can submit texts on the website.
Here are a few of my favorites:
(415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
(803): I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
(973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?

(908): the vacuum is drunk
(703): what?
(908): i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk

(601): Are you drinking alone?
(662): no, i'm watching house
(601): That doesn't count
662): wtf, then i'm always alone

(832): I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.

(512): just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
(1-512): pretty standard. you have fun last night?
(512): apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
(1-512): typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.

(703): party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.

These are updated constantly so check it out!